February entry

People says  :
Semalam
adalah kenangan, Harini adalah kehidupan,dan Esok adalah ketentuan.

I wanna stop talking about the past and try to work out with what I've today to make myself better for tomorrow.

Enough for the luxurious moments in life, relaxing life as student,  and happy time as children /teenagers.

As time changing I'm not a cute-adorable boy anymore. My time as teenagers also ended 2years ago.

It's time to facing life brutally. But as a Muslim, Allah is everything.

end of my January

It's really sometime for me to come back to this site.. I was planning to close this account and the other one just before this year get started but unfortunately most of the entries had some nostalgic value to me. Also I have been thinking  to make both blogs as hard copy (really??) but its really required commitment from myself to do it.
As the word 'commitment' appears, I am still not understand why I feel hard to find a righteous job for me to start my career path. Because out there I faced with several issues that put me in dilemma but at the end, by decision iI had made, I still in confusing. Did I made a right decision? Three jobs came but non of them missed my kick..the forth coming but I was kinda been advised to not take the job because of the 'S' issue.
Keep waiting?  urhh you know it's suffering, especially for me who have big dream.

Despite of all lost and things happened,  I was glad cuz I'm here to get involves in family things. An aunt passed away on the sameday my granny got hospitalized. May Allah bless me n my family. Amin

early January

Hi..happy new year to me :-D haha
Lot things happened within 5 days and it would take more than hour if i write details in this entry.

A day before new year I went for an interview and I think I got the job but on the next day (new year) I called the interviewer and choose not to accept the job.

On Saturday 4th during lunch my granfather asked me to bring him to meet his 'biras' at Rawang. So I persuaded my granny to follow us since we're going to meet her own brother and also the only sibling she had today. Even my granny's memory are not good as 3years past but the bond between them still strong and it can be seen from how my granny show her care to her brother which later she forgotten who did she massage n visited. Me? I sat at dining table n never get close to that granduncle all the time.

Today 5th January,  early in the morning i heard phone ranging then i heard a confirmation about my granduncle have just past away. I came to the funeral n try be a men but there were time I still have tears in my eyes..  tears of lost of a closest granduncle, regrets for never came near to him on his last day in this world and sad when i saw my grandmother's face who just lost her last sibling. She might cry at the funeral but i knew now she already forgot her brother has had past away.

Life must go on.. Remember people at our past and appreciate people who live today.

fullmoon

Petang tadi, de'X hantar bateri kereta kat my daddy sebab bateri kereta yang beliau bawa g kerja tu kena 'pinjam' untuk kedua kali berturut2.. Masa da nak sampai rumah de'X terpandang langit..fullmoon macam dalam citer werewolf / vampire.. Huhu siyes. Warnanya..saiznya..background awannya..serupa.

Pastu tadi ade lah sekelumit rasa sedih bila tengok wassap kat group training dulu..sume duk citer pasal kerja. So amik keputusan 'mute' group tu untuk seminggu..huhu
Then g luahkan perasaan kat admin group tu pasal tak dapat kerja lagi.. And suddenly he told me something that can be says as a very bright light in the dark of night..

Somebody kirim salam n say sorry about something.. Hoho. Hilang jap rasa sedih tu bila dapat perkhabaran tersebut. Terasa macam bulan tu tercipta untuk de'X je..haha. Even it's not directly from her,but it's still a good thing to know, all  this time i wasn't be forgotten by her.

I'll smile again..

raining n waiting

Now is 'tengkujuh' season, in English maybe we called it as raining season, I'm not sure..huhu. Some people says "rain bring god blessings" but for me rain still rain. Yesterday rain has fell for the entire day..24 hours non-stop. Eh da macam news plak..haha

Hati ni masih bersedih, bukan sebab kekasih tapi sebab tak dapat call lagi. Bila la kerja tu nak panggil aku. Harini few more friends got call from the company..next week they will start working.

This morning, i went to convention merangkap convocation gak la untuk kitorang sume yg join program 4 bulan tu. Meet up with several important people that related to my future still not giving a really good sign for me. They put us(especially me and the another friend) to keep waiting.

I planned to find my own path after this day, but because that person made a promise by the end of this month we will get hired so suddenly my brain said I should wait until the end of this year. He also asked us to enjoy this holidays.. But we told him how to enjoy without having money? Suddenly he said do part time job for pocket money but not for long term.  aigoo

Waiting is suffering,  that's for real!

first failure

Gagal sekali tak bermakna gagal selamanya. Wahh ini ungkapan fantasi masa zaman sekolah. Reality will be totally different n difficult. Bila dah gagal, rancangan asal perlu dipinda, bila dipinda masa pun bertambah, believe or not satu kegagalan mencipta kegagalan lain.

Apahal citer pasal gagal2 ni? Why not about gegurl je? Huhu. Dua minggu weh, dah dua minggu aku memegang unemployment title ni. Even hati ni cuba bertabah facing this moment but god knows me well n better when i read group wassap how happy they are when hsbc called them. Kalaupun ada yg sebahagian lagi belum receive any call yet tapi at least diorang dah tahu keputusan interview tu memihak diorang. Me? Jangankan diri sendiri, friends pon xpercaya aku gagal. They said the interviewer was gender bias. 

I hate to say this because for many years I had develop myself to be positive thinker, but today I need to admit my failure to get my first job, i feel sad when comparing myself with friends who went for the same interview. I feel down when I asked them when will you start working and they said this thursday. I really want to cry on this failure more than when i breakup with somebody few years ago. 

As I have said before, the dominoes of failure. Now i need to buy another chance for my initial plan and hope it will not be too late for me when the chances coming.

time's over

For a long time, last month was a first time I didn't post anything here. Many thing happened lately and I do not have enough time to tell all the stories. =)

I'm going to interview this upcoming Thursday, wish me luck okay. Sadly 7 of us not managed to passed the Boplus test. But they still have chance to build their career here- Cyberjaya. Hope we can continue to be together.

As the bond become tightly.. Our house are not our house any-more, their house not really their house. We can come anytime to each other house for variety of reasons. Watch movie or football and any channels on Astro, play Xbox and most common is for food. 

Wherever light exist, there's always dark. I did  not expected that would happen last night, but I hope nothing happened over the board 'cuz I don't want to be partner in crime. I wanted it too but I want to have it alone.huhu 3=D